State College, PA

A list of AA meetings for anyone who may stumble across this blog, and is questioning there social life. It's a scary thought, but never a scary place.

District 43 meeting list

Everyday thoughts...

The one thing that they try to stress in AA is the idea, suggestion, of "letting go". How do you let go? This is a concept that I just could not, still struggle with every so often, grasp on to. As you sit alone in an apartment alone with just your thoughts, how do you just "let go"? Questions about why this is my life, and how am I ever going to move forward from this can easily fill any addicts mind. It gets easier, simplify it...let your mind just relax, when you're not at school, work, etc. and just relaxing on your couch, turn on Netflix, a sports game, and just allow yourself to be lazy. I've allowed myself to realize that the decisions I made cannot be reversed, but I have a chance to do things a little differently now. There are still moments when I feel like how can I move forward, I have legal issues, I have not the best job history, due to my addiction, but where there is hope, there is a way. Someone, somewhere, has been where I have been, will see my potential, and will give me a chance. That is what I try to hold onto. Will it happen tomorrow? No. Will it happen next week? Probably not. And in the mean time I have to hold on to the idea that it will happen, and I have to allow myself the time I need to know I am ready to take on the new sober world that is put in front of me. Keep in mind, this feeling did not come to me immediately after I stopped using, it took time, I complicated EVERYTHING, and it isn't until I took every situation, and every day and looked at it in the simplest way I possibly could that I started to realize that I can "let go". And so can you!

How did I get here?

When you're a child you have all of these goals and dreams of where you are going to be when you "grow up", and I'm sure none of us said to ourselves..."I want to be an alcoholic/addict!" How does it even happen, when does it happen, why does it happen?! I'm not going to run through my whole childhood, and all of the different reasons or ways how I could of gotten here, but I'm here and that's what matters. That is why I'm doing this, because I am finally here, finally doing something about my problem(s). What I will do is at least tell you a little about myself though...my name is Allison, and I am just a couple short days from a year of sobriety. It's exciting, scary, crazy, sad and a million other things. "I've lived a whole year without a drink, am I really not going to drink ever again?" I still ask this and I know I will continue to ask myself this for many years to come. People with years of sobriety still struggle, it's a lifetime process. Was it my choice to be in recovery? Not exactly! Who's really all that excited to walk into there first AA/NA meeting? Not to many of us. I was terrified! The law got me to where I am today and I am not so sure that I would of had it any other way because I don't believe I admitted that I needed the help that I did. But I am here and it's saved me. A lot of future posts may be a little all over the place, what recovering addict isn't all over the place? But I want to share my story, share my every day thoughts, feelings, struggles, maybe in hopes to help someone else, if not at least to teach others this is a real life struggle, a real life thing, and not a disease to take lightly. Welcome to my journey!